Category: Happiness

If You Say Yes To Any of These 7 Questions, You’re Much More Successful Than You Think

Numbers come and go, but feelings are forever – especially when those feelings involve how you feel about yourself.

Sometimes comparisons can be useful… but where your sense of satisfaction and fulfillment are concerned, they’re definitely not.

Like if you constantly you compare yourself to other people. Do that and it’s easy to feel unsuccessful. If you’re an entrepreneur and you compare yourself to Richard Branson, you won’t win. If you’re a musician and you compare yourself to Taylor Swift (especially if the point of comparison is earnings), you won’t win. If your goal is to change the world and you compare yourself to Steve…

That’s the problem with comparisons. No matter how successful you feel, there is always someone who seems more successful. There is always someone better, or smarter, or wealthier, or (seemingly) happier.

So stop comparing. Just focus on you. Then look for these signs that show you’re more successful than you might think – and, in all likelihood, that you’re happier than you think, too.

1. “Do I have close friends?”

Close friendship are increasingly rare; one study found that the number of friends respondents felt they could discuss important matters with has dropped from an average of 2.94 to 2.08 in the last 20 years.

If you have more than two or three close friends, be glad, not only for the social connection but also because the positive effect of relationships on your life span is double what you get from exercising and just as powerful as quitting smoking.

And where professional relationships are concerned…

2. “Can I choose the people around me?”

Some people have employees who drive them nuts. Some people have customers who are obnoxious. Some people have casual acquaintances who are selfish, all-about-me jerks.

Guess what: They chose those people. Those people are in their professional or personal lives because they let them remain.

Successful people attract successful people. Hardworking people attract hardworking people. Kind people associate with kind people. Great employees want to work for great bosses.

If the people around you are the people you want to be around you… you’re successful.

And if they’re not, it’s time to start making some changes.

3. “Do I have enough money to make positive choices?”

Many people live paycheck to paycheck. Worse, many have to decide between necessities. (I can remember having to choose between filling a prescription for an antibiotic and putting gas in my car.)

If you make enough money, and don’t spend so much money, that you can make positive choices about what to do with some of it — whether it’s investing, or taking a vacation, or taking classes… anything you want to do instead of have to do — then you’re successful, both because you’ve escaped the paycheck-to-paycheck grind and because you can leverage that extra money to become even more successful.

4. “Do I see failure as just training?”

Failure sucks, but failure is also the best way to learn and grow. There will always be trials, challenges, and obstacles — but perseverance always wins in the end.

Every successful person has failed, numerous times. (Most of them have failed a lot more often than you. That’s why they’re so successful now.)

If you embrace every failure — if you own it, learn from it, and take full responsibility for making sure that next time things will turn out differently–then you’re already successful.

And in time, you’ll be even more successful, because you’ll never stop trying to be better than you are today.

5. “Am I a giver?”

We’ve all experienced this moment: We’re having a great conversation, we’re finding things in common…and then, boom: The other person plays the “I need something” card.

And everything about the interaction changes.

What once appeared friendly now feels needy, almost grasping…and, if you’re like me, you feel guilty if you can’t help. (And especially if you decide you don’t want to help.)

As Adam Grant shows, people tend to fall into rough categories: Some takers, some are matchers, and some are givers.

And it should come as no surprise that people who feel successful tend to not be takers. They accept help if offered, but they don’t feel the need to ask. In fact, they focus on what they can do for other people.

6. “Do I put other people in the spotlight?”

OK, maybe you did do all the work. Maybe you did move mountains. Maybe you did kick ass and take names.

If you aren’t looking for praise or accolades, that means you’re successful. That means you feel proud on the inside, where it counts. That means your happiness comes from the success of others. You don’t need the glory; you know what you’ve achieved.

If you enjoy the validation of others but don’t need the validation of others, you’re successful.

7. “Do I feel a real sense of purpose?”

Successful people have a purpose. As a result, they’re excited, dedicated, passionate, and fearless.

And they share their passions with others.

If you’re found a purpose — if you’ve found something that inspires you, fuels you, makes you excited to get up, get out, and achieve — then you’re successful, regardless of how much money you make or what other people think.

Why?

Because you’re living life your way–and that’s the best sign of success there is.

 

Credits: inc.com

The Mental Trick You Can Use to Become More Resilient and Confident

Building unshakable confidence and layers of resiliency starts with this mental shift.

Abundance is commonly accepted as something that helps us live more fulfilling lives. But why?

Simply, it’s because operating in a state of abundance leads to a growth mindset. While operating in a state of scarcity leads to a fixed mindset that places invisible ceilings on your potential.

Abundance, as Stephen Covey describes it in his classic book The Seven Principles of Highly Effective People, is something that:

Flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity.

When it comes to scarcity, Covey states:

Most people are deeply scripted in what I call Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else. The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life.

When it comes to developing confidence and building more resiliency, approaching life with an abundance mentality is essential. When you’re looking to adopt this mentality, it starts with these four critical factors:

1. Look for the silver lining in every situation.

Each day you wake up, something will happen not according to plan, someone will tempt you emotionally and will likely try to steal your joy.

There’s nothing you can do about this.

While you can’t control the people or situations around you, you can control your response. More importantly, you can choose to extract the positive out of the situation and use that to grow as a person.

Situations, games, business quarters, health, and many other facets of your life won’t roll in your favor 100 percent of the time, but even then, there’s always a silver lining to the situation (even if it’s marginal).

Choose optimism, search for the silver lining, and remember that all things contribute to your advancement.

2. Keep the big picture in mind.

I’m an author and operate in the health and fitness industry. With a scarcity mindset, I would most likely quit what I’m doing because there are millions of fitness books in existence along with many other health and fitness consultants.

You’re a business owner, a high-performing professional, or part of a startup, and guess what, there are countless others similar to you, and that’s only increasing.

However, when you’re approaching life with an abundance mindset, you’ll realize that though you’re in the same line of work as others, you’re not the same because no two individuals are alike. There are billions of people in this world and those people will resonate with different voices, methods, philosophies, and approaches, even if the desired result is similar.

There is plenty for everyone. Everyone has a unique gift and voice that can specifically help others out.

3. Freely share with others.

When you lead and operate out of scarcity, then you’re only going to receive more scarcity. But when you give freely, you not only feel better about yourself, but you’ll also start receiving more.

Call it magic, the law of attraction, the law of reciprocity, or anything else. The sooner you learn to let go and give more, the quicker abundance will start growing in all areas of your life.

To get started, make it a goal to share something once a day. This doesn’t have to be money, it could be an encouraging note to someone, a thank you letter or email to someone you admire, or giving 30 minutes to someone who wants to “pick your brain.”

4. Reduce and be more mindful of your media consumption.

If you’re constantly consuming media through various social channels and television, you’re constantly in “consumer mode” instead of “producer mode,” where creativity happens.

Hence, you run the risk of catching tunnel vision and furthering the chances of scarcity thinking because you think there isn’t anything that can be added. Some will say that consuming ample amounts of media is motivation. While it may fire you up at first, eventually it leads to comparison and lack of action and worth.

The question to ask yourself is why are you consuming this media? And how does it make you feel, while consuming and afterward?

When you become abundant, you believe you can have it all. Choose the path of abundance and experience more happiness, richer relationships, better health, and greater success in business.

 

Credits: inc.com

The Real Reason Traveling Makes You Happy

Saying I caught the travel bug several years ago would be an understatement. I discovered a joy in traveling I didn’t know I had before. Typically an anxious and tightly wound person, I feel spontaneous and free when I travel. My anxiety vanishes (for the most part) and I truly enjoy myself. I make sacrifices where I can if it means I’ll have more money and time to travel. Nothing gives me quite as much joy as trying new foods in exotic places; hiking a new, difficult trail; and planning the perfect week-long getaway.

The key word in the last sentence is planning—because we know traveling makes us happy, but research has actually shown the planning portion of our vacations gives us more joy than the actual trip itself or the time following the trip. In fact, researchers found, “the effect of vacation anticipation boosted happiness for eight weeks.”

I can attest to this. Several years ago, I took a trip to Aruba, and though I certainly enjoyed the trip itself, I found myself most excited while planning. I would sit at my computer to search “best seafood in Aruba” and have visions of myself eating the best scallops I’d ever tasted by crystal-clear water in perfect, 80-degree weather. I wouldn’t say the trip itself didn’t stack up, but we tend to create the ideal version of things in our minds. And it stirs up excitement.

I’ve learned that while planning for a trip can bring me a lot of pleasure, going with the flow can, too. Here are some planning tips so you can find the perfect balance and get the most out of your next vacation—before, during and after:

1. Relish the unexpected.

I’m the epitome of a planner—my underlying anxiety fuels my obsessive list-making and color-coordinated calendar. So naturally, I tend to overschedule and over plan when I travel. More recently, I’ve learned how nice it can be to explore a new city for the day without any plans at all. You can discover places you might not find on Yelp and uncover a city’s true culture.

2. Relax, relax, relax.

The same research study I mentioned earlier discovered that the level of happiness people experienced post-vacation depended on how much they relaxed during their time away. There were no elevated emotions post-trip if the traveler described their trip as “neutral,” “stressful” or even “relaxing.” Those who said the trip was “very relaxing” reaped the most post-vacation joy. Even if you’re in an exciting new city like Rome or Bangkok, remember to unwind every so often.

3. Do some (food) research.

There’s nothing worse than being in a brand new city and spending an hour scrolling through Yelp on your phone for a dinner spot. Although too much planning can stress you out, a little bit can be good. Make a few dinner reservations or find a few places you want to try ahead of time so you don’t waste time sitting in your hotel room on the phone.

4. Go on a few small trips per year instead of one big one.

Several studies have shown the length of a trip doesn’t really matter in terms of happiness gained; longer trips aren’t necessarily better. That, combined with the fact that we get the most joy from the planning portion of traveling, means aiming for two or three small trips per year might actually be more beneficial.

5. Put the camera down.

Don’t get me wrong—I love taking photos. I never go on a trip without my DSLR camera draped around my neck. But I’ve learned the benefit of leaving the camera at home every so often. On a trip to Spain several years back, I took photos constantly. Although I love having them as memories, I now see there are moments when I didn’t need to snap a photo. I don’t need a picture of my seafood paella or my feet in the sand.

6. Be somewhat organized.

I’m an extremely organized person, so for me, touting the benefits of being organized is par for the course. But for the less-organized people out there, a little extra planning upfront can mean the difference between a mediocre, expensive meal (such as the time I paid $55 for five prawns in Spain) and a secret gem (i.e. the Hawaii food truck with a cult-like following that’s just $10 for a heaping plate of shrimp). Do some research beforehand on restaurants, sightseeing and shopping.

7. Pack wisely.

Most of us can only dream of being as adept at packing as this woman. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t small things you can do to pack smarter. Try bringing lightweight fabrics that are easy to layer, as well as versatile shoes—hiking shoes that double as athletic shoes, wedges that can work both for your night out and during the day. There’s nothing worse than lugging 50 pounds of luggage around a brand new city searching for your hotel.

8. Keep your spirits high once it’s back to real life.

One trick I’ve found is having an extra day or two at home to relax before going back to work. Having one day to complete all of your errands before returning to work can help eliminate unneeded stress.

 

Credits: success.com